Two women hugging up close

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone

By Suzanne Robitaille

As Mother's Day approaches, acknowledging the death of a family or friend’s mom takes refined effort. It's the emotional equivalent of rolling out the champagne at a party then popping all the balloons.

If the loss was very recent, Mother’s Day can unleash a flood of emotions. If the loss happened many years ago, a wave of sadness may crest for a few minutes on this day, then subside. Someone who is estranged from their mother who is still alive may also deeply feel an absence.

As a well-wisher, you’re looking to give a nod to someone’s mom, however close or not she was in their lives. While a nice sentiment is a thoughtful card with a hand-written message, it’s incredibly hard to find these cards in the store.

Anna Jarvis, the inventor of Mother’s Day, never intended to create a holiday; she was looking to honor her own deceased mother. Yet Hallmark saw an opportunity in the 1920s to sell cards for Mother’s Day embossed with foil and glitter to a mass market.

We’re now forever stuck with the glamorized version of the second Sunday in May, with cute cards for moms that essentially advertise a theatric version of Mother’s Day, Starring Your Amazing Mother and All She Does for You! Everyone else can visit their mom’s grave, or stay home and watch Mommy Dearest to remind them they dodged a bullet.

Mother’s Day Still Matters without Mom

This dichotomy perpetuates the myth that once a mother has left earth, Mother’s Day is irrelevant to them. This simply isn’t true, and I’ve seen it over and over in the tender conversations I’ve had with people who have lost their moms even decades ago.

Likewise, if a parent loses a child, you might wrongly believe Mother’s Day isn’t their day—not worthy of a few slots in the card aisle. Or to a daughter or son who has severed their relationship with their mom, Mother’s Day is a nuisance, a reason to have a Bloody Mary at brunch.

Too many companies still miss that life is messy, relationships are complicated and people still hurt.

Well-Wishers Need Help, Too

There’s an assumption that well-wishers will intuitively know the right thing to do or say on any occasion. This might be true in a normalized event—a wedding, A birth a death from old age—but for the more nuanced ones, like a death from cancer or a stillborn baby, there’s no clear-cut path.

Just because someone is over a certain age does not make them a natural empath, either. Maybe they haven’t experienced a tragedy in their life yet. Or maybe their emotions get so twisted up they don’t know how to act at all. Sometimes they don’t; waking up weeks later in a puddle of remorse.

We created the Cards for a Mom collection as a place for well-wishers to find unique sympathy cards. We help you figure out the right card, then write and send it for you. We work across the spectrum of loss and hardship, specializing in the gray areas that slide by without a mention. These are the days you need to offer a hug instead of a high-five, a wildflower instead of a rose, a nostalgic chuckle instead of a laugh.

If you don’t know what to write in your card, turn to our grief communications expert Dr. Jocelyn DeGroot, who has crafted sympathy and empathy messages that you can use outright or take as inspiration. Our writers are handwriting and calligraphy specialists who personally fulfill each card in print or cursive. Then we add a season-appropriate stamp and mail the card to your recipient on the same day.

More than just Mother’s Day cards

You might look at Wishbar and see just a card writing service. We aspire to be so much more. We want to remove the friction out of not knowing what to say or do in a difficult time, and empower well-wishers to turn their good intentions into actions, whether they do it immediately or years later.

With a little bit of intelligence, we can also help well-wishers make better choices in the gifts they send to the bereaved. I remember a time when three deaths in my extended family over one week left me perplexed. Without insight into what these grieving families really wanted, I sent the same bouquet of flowers three times. I know I could have done better.

There’s never going to be the perfect card or gift. Life, and its hardships, are not cut by pattern. But we can get a lot closer when companies design for empathy and give well-wishers a safe place to learn and make choices.

Suzanne Robitaille is the founder of Wishbar.

Comments 118

zbystpkfrc on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
[url=http://www.g65r56yg3f5g75ge93fc0h64as58aq5hs.org/]uzbystpkfrc[/url]
azbystpkfrc
zbystpkfrc http://www.g65r56yg3f5g75ge93fc0h64as58aq5hs.org/

cfidzifee on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
acfidzifee
[url=http://www.g2k2li7427dd903ftj458w2sb9kjo4a0s.org/]ucfidzifee[/url]
cfidzifee http://www.g2k2li7427dd903ftj458w2sb9kjo4a0s.org/

scmmozyjtm on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
ascmmozyjtm
[url=http://www.g27hd2fx7e7rnpt25593o333pqv01zf7s.org/]uscmmozyjtm[/url]
scmmozyjtm http://www.g27hd2fx7e7rnpt25593o333pqv01zf7s.org/

kzpittrv on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
kzpittrv http://www.gkk5umas27y00xc584zx94tn479v5w75s.org/
[url=http://www.gkk5umas27y00xc584zx94tn479v5w75s.org/]ukzpittrv[/url]
akzpittrv

mieqkbswi on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
mieqkbswi http://www.gu4u1016sv346z9q7u2hka2tps9254mcs.org/
[url=http://www.gu4u1016sv346z9q7u2hka2tps9254mcs.org/]umieqkbswi[/url]
amieqkbswi

tvozdidj on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
atvozdidj
[url=http://www.gd641b50t1bu4r143kmlveuxr1n60767s.org/]utvozdidj[/url]
tvozdidj http://www.gd641b50t1bu4r143kmlveuxr1n60767s.org/

mzlsbfojhg on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
mzlsbfojhg http://www.g4rq4r1p03g6y4sbdj5x7r1m83461m8qs.org/
amzlsbfojhg
[url=http://www.g4rq4r1p03g6y4sbdj5x7r1m83461m8qs.org/]umzlsbfojhg[/url]

ofdnmjvcg on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
aofdnmjvcg
ofdnmjvcg http://www.g9bf5zlqv16t97q012ek7iy79145rw1hs.org/
[url=http://www.g9bf5zlqv16t97q012ek7iy79145rw1hs.org/]uofdnmjvcg[/url]

ehwnhizhmj on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
ehwnhizhmj http://www.gy5kru8nkkc406e24v58gi288050e7uls.org/
[url=http://www.gy5kru8nkkc406e24v58gi288050e7uls.org/]uehwnhizhmj[/url]
aehwnhizhmj

gcgyzdrx on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
gcgyzdrx http://www.gl33g49i237p04wz31bc9pcn6p4gq6y7s.org/
agcgyzdrx
[url=http://www.gl33g49i237p04wz31bc9pcn6p4gq6y7s.org/]ugcgyzdrx[/url]

dioncoqxzo on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
dioncoqxzo http://www.g1t99tvm4930gs8lvx105sc38b9h8f9vs.org/
[url=http://www.g1t99tvm4930gs8lvx105sc38b9h8f9vs.org/]udioncoqxzo[/url]
adioncoqxzo

rxissrlgh on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
arxissrlgh
[url=http://www.g2p208n676gt3vv36a90i1dij9whqv53s.org/]urxissrlgh[/url]
rxissrlgh http://www.g2p208n676gt3vv36a90i1dij9whqv53s.org/

sztzwxrlib on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
sztzwxrlib http://www.gf4io7120dsds8iom06504l0h233c5lqs.org/
asztzwxrlib
[url=http://www.gf4io7120dsds8iom06504l0h233c5lqs.org/]usztzwxrlib[/url]

ivtcqtyybv on

When It’s Mother’s Day but Their Mom Is Gone – Wishbar
ivtcqtyybv http://www.g0lkv6wr9u7gq0194u2vhw023j7466das.org/
aivtcqtyybv
[url=http://www.g0lkv6wr9u7gq0194u2vhw023j7466das.org/]uivtcqtyybv[/url]

머니라인247 on

해외배팅사이트
해외스포츠배팅사이트
해외배팅사이트에이전시
해외배팅사이트주소
해외배팅사이트도메인
아시안커넥트
머니라인247
황룡카지노
핀벳88
피나클
스보벳
맥스벳
BTI SPORTS
에볼루션카지노
해외온라인카지노
파워볼
엔트리파워볼
토토사이트
스포츠사이트

해외배팅사이트_https://spo337.com/
해외스포츠배팅사이트_https://spo337.com/
해외배팅사이트에이전시_https://spo337.com/
해외스포츠토토에이전시_https://spo337.com/
해외배팅사이트주소_https://spo337.com/
해외배팅사이트도메인_https://spo337.com/
아시안커넥트_https://spo337.com/
머니라인247_https://spo337.com/ml247/
황룡카지노_https://spo337.com/gdcasino/
핀벳88_https://spo337.com/pinbet88/
피나클_https://spo337.com/pinbet88/
스보벳_https://spo337.com/sbobet/
맥스벳_https://spo337.com/maxbet/
BTI SPORTS_https://spo337.com/btisports/
에볼루션카지노_https://spo337.com/evolutioncasino/
해외온라인카지노_https://spo337.com/onlinecasino/
파워볼_https://spo337.com/category/powerball/
엔트리파워볼_https://spo337.com/category/powerball/
토토사이트_https://spo337.com/category/sports-site/
스포츠사이트_https://spo337.com/category/sports-site/

Leave a comment